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Why You Need to Be Realistic When You Date
Written by: Akua Hinds
September 30, 2015
Dating is typically the first step that committed couples go through before they decide to get married or live together. Dating usually happens because two people are attracted to each other, but in order for a meaningful relationship to build, there needs to be more than just lustful attraction. While you are dating it is very important to have realistic expectations of yourself, the person you are involved with and the relationship on a whole. Some people get ahead of themselves in assuming that every relationship they are in will lead to marriage. They can also overlook incompatibility, or they assume that their partner would prefer marriage instead of a long term relationship. Not every person you are involved with will be “the one.” Some relationships are meant to be stepping stones and learning experiences towards a future commitment that will impact your life like no other.
During the dating process, don’t expect your date to be perfect. All humans make mistakes and we all have skeletons in our closets. We’ve all seen it before from celebrity interviews where they will boast about how perfect their relationship is and then they quickly marry. Two years after the wedding takes place, tabloid magazines and television shows are reporting rumors of “problems” between the couple. Eventually, the separation happens, then the divorce. Speaking too soon publically about a relationship and declaring your mate as “perfect” is treading into dangerous waters. Even though you feel elated when you are in love, it is important to firmly keep your feet on solid ground and tread carefully. It’s alright to express your love and affection for that person, but don’t assume that they will never let you down and that your relationship is so secure that nothing can come between you.
There are always storms in life that can cause stress and anxiety. It is dangerous to assume that your relationship is invincible and doesn’t need constant attention. Never take your partnership for granted; it is like a flower that needs nurture and warmth in order to thrive and blossom. Like anything in life, relationships require time, work, and effort in order to be successful. Even though we are all different, it is important that you and the person you are dating have common goals and views for how you are going to move forward together. Think of your relationship as a business that needs to be attended to each and every day, and the two of you are the co-CEOs who need to lead and maintain a healthy purposeful union.
Are you hoping to get married in a few years but she doesn’t believe in marriage and doesn’t want to discuss the idea? If so, don’t assume that you can change her. She needs to come to a different realization on her own if that is her will. Do you expect him to be available each time you need him? That is not always possible, so it is important to be realistic. Discuss your goals together regularly to find out if you’re both headed in the right direction, and be willing to make healthy compromises if needed. Remember that a relationship is a team dynamic and you are two individuals who are supposed to be on the same side. When you know what side you are both playing on, you can score a partnership that works best for you both and helps meet your personal goals.
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Akua Hinds works as a journalist, actress, owner of 3 dating sites www.InterracialDesires.net, www.RichSinglesDate.net, www.ChristianPartner.co , music performer & instructor, and independent Passion Parties business owner at www.PureRomance.ca/AkuaHinds and www.PureRomance.com/AkuaHinds selling passion products. Please visit www.AkuaHinds.com for more information.