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Relationship Matters

When to Close the Door to Past Love

Written by: Akua Hinds

November 9, 2018

When to Close the Door to Past Love. Written by: Akua Hinds

 

 

It is super rare to meet someone who has never had a past love.  Our past relationships experiences are meant to shape our present day and future days.  Some people feel tempted to rekindle the flames of love they had with someone who they used to be involved with, and sometimes, love reunions work.  However, sometimes, revisiting a past relationship does not work.  I have read a statement that life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it.  Do you agree with that?  If so, then it is important that you take proactive steps to moving forward from your past circumstances into even better circumstances.  Here are 4 tips to help you decide when you should close the door to past love:

The Memories Have Turned from Treasured to Tainted

Those nights when you lie in bed and think about the good times that you shared with your ex feel different now. You no longer wistfully think about the past.  Instead, you feel angry as you remember all of the times when your ex disappointed and angered you.  The feelings of anger will only go away when you have made peace with the past.  If you do not like way that you were treated by your former mate, the feelings of bitterness that you harbour could seep into your rekindled romance.  If you feel unable to forgive your ex, getting back together might not work because it is hard to love someone who you highly resent. 

Getting Back Together Does Not Make Sense Anymore

I remember when I felt really strongly about reuniting with one of my exes after we broke up.  I felt that we could overcome the obstacles that he did not feel that we could overcome.  It really is true what they say about hindsight being twenty-twenty.  Over time, I began to realize that our relationship was not what either of us needed and that it would be best to release it.  Letting go turned out to be a big blessing in disguise because the things I used to stress about with regards to my ex were things I no longer had to think about.  Can you relate?  If you gradually come to realize that it does not make sense to go back to an insensible situation, then you should close that door and move on.

You Realize that You Have Changed

When we are in love with someone, we rarely ever believe that who we are as people will change, but we really do change over time.  Who you were as a person when you first met your former mate is not who you are as a person now that the relationship is over.  And because of that, you realize that the person who originally fell in love with your former mate does not exist anymore.  The New You might be a better match with a New Mate. 

You Feel a Need to Start Over

Our feelings are not always based on facts, but there are times when we need to listen to our intuitions.  When you feel a strong sense of urgency to do something different, you need to do it as soon as you possibly can.  Our intuitions often prepare us for things that are about to take place.  Do you feel in your heart that a new adventure awaits you and you need to get ready for it?  If so, then you need to put the past behind you and move forward.  However, if you feel that you need to give your ex one more chance, perhaps giving things another try will work out.  Listen to your intuition and review the facts of your relationship to help you make the right decision.

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Akua Hinds works as a journalist, actress, music performer & instructor,  owner of 3 dating sites www.InterracialDesires.net, www.RichSinglesDate.net, www.ChristianPartner.co, and independent business owner at www.PureRomance.ca/AkuaHinds & www.PureRomance.com/AkuaHinds selling passion products.  Please visit www.AkuaHinds.com for more information.