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How to Date Someone Who Doesn’t Remind You Of Your Ex
Written by: Akua Hinds
March 9, 2017
When it comes to dating, it is very common to subconsciously choose a new partner who reminds you a lot of your former flame. You might not even realize that you’re attracting someone who shares traits with your ex, but when the pattern of the relationship starts resembling what you’ve been through in the past, that’s when you need to re-evaluate how your relationship choices. The one common denominator in all of your relationships is you. The reason why you keep choosing mates who are similar to each other could be because you are trying to continue a story that you had started in previous relationships. Here are tips on how to create a brand new dating chapter in your life with someone who is different and who is better for you than your past partners:
Figure Out What Didn’t Work Before
It’s possible that you heavily gloss over the parts of your past relationship that didn’t work, and you mainly think about the things that did work. While it’s great to be positive and reminisce about the good times that you and your ex shared, you need to be realistic and remind yourself that you and your ex didn’t last as a couple for a reason. Maybe it was your ex’s inability to remember your birthday. Or, perhaps it was your unwillingness to compromise. Whatever the reasons were, you can’t ignore the warning signs. Ignoring what went wrong before is a recipe for disaster because you’ll most likely repeat the dysfunctional pattern in your new relationship. Strive to find a new mate who you feel like you’re getting a real new start with.
Give Yourself A Makeover
It’s time to make some serious changes, and since the common denominator in your relationships is you, it’s a good idea to initiate mental and physical changes in your life. When your mind is focused on whatever unfinished business you had with your ex, you’re more vulnerable to making an emotional decision to pursue someone who will trigger memories of your time with your ex-partner. Work on changing your mental thought process. When your mind is clear and focused on what’s right, you’ll be able to notice other areas of your life that need improvements and readjustments. Emotional and physical makeovers can be fun and life-changing.
Track Your Progress
You can create your own rewards system in which you reward yourself for going a full hour without thinking about your past relationship. The reward could be whatever makes you happy; a cup of your favourite tea, a chocolate bar, a foot spa massage are just some suggestions on how you can reward yourself. Deliberately changing your routine, whether it’s a routine of how you think and plan things, or a routine on how you dress yourself, will help you to feel more accomplished because you’re taking small steps to move forward with your life. When you feel like you’re progressing, you’ll attract someone who you can be in a more progressive relationship with.
Akua Hinds works as a journalist, actress, music performer & instructor, owner of 3 dating sites www.InterracialDesires.net, www.RichSinglesDate.net, www.ChristianPartner.co, and independent business owner at www.PureRomance.ca/AkuaHinds & www.PureRomance.com/AkuaHinds selling passion products. Please visit www.AkuaHinds.com for more information.