Akua Hinds-Media, Music & Merchandise

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Being persistent in relationships

By Akua Hinds

October 22, 2014

One of my favourite things to do at home when I have some down time is to sit in front of my computer, log onto The Daily Mail's website, and read the articles on the website that catch my interest. I've been reading The Daily Mail for years; it's my favourite go-to newspaper for what is happening in The United Kingdom.  I loved my time in London when I visited The UK in 2005! And, of course, as someone who is intensely curious about most things related to relationships, I especially enjoy reading the articles about celebrities (especially female celebrities) and their torrid love lives.  Many of the women written about on The Daily Mail's site are in their 20s, 30s, and 40s.  There are also many articles on the site that are written about people from all walks of life and age groups.  Readers from all over the globe can log onto the site and post comments about the articles, and a common trend seems to happen whenever the articles are about female entertainers (musicians, actors, models, etc.) who were recently interviewed about their new boyfriend or husband and how the new guy is "The One."

Now, some of the comments are positive and encouraging, but, some of the comments are juicy, mean, and judgemental.  Readers who approve of the comments posted can click on the green arrow, and readers who don't agree with a comment can click on the red arrow attached to the comment.  A recent article posted in The Daily Mail was featuring a 34 year old pop singer who has been bankrupted twice, has two children from her first marriage, two more children from her second marriage, and recently married the father of her fifth child.  Another recent article is about an actress who is in her late 30s, has two children from her first marriage, another child from her second marriage, and went through a divorce this year and is already in a relationship with a new man who also recently went through a divorce and has a child, and the two of them want to have a child together. Another media personality who is frequently featured in the newspaper is a woman in her 40s who has been notoriously nicknamed by the media as 4 by 4 (4 x4) because she is a mother to 4 children and each of her children has a different father.  

Many of the readers who comment on articles like those that I mentioned have harsh words and opinions about the public figures, judging them because they move from relationship to relationship quickly after breaking up with their previous love interests.  Despite the hundreds of negative comments from readers on the site, I usually find myself silently cheering on the public figures who have quickly moved on with their lives and who make no apologies for doing so.  It's easy to judge other people and their relationships, but it's very difficult to truly imagine yourself in the same situation as someone else if you aren't living their lives. I applaud and admire people who, after giving a relationship their all, decide to move in a different direction when it is clear that the person they are with no longer wants to put effort into the relationship. I completely understand what it feels like to have high hopes for a relationship, only to feel disappointed when the relationship takes a completely unexpected and unwanted turn.  A great relationship requires that both people in the relationship equally invest in it, believe in it, and contribute to it on a daily basis. When one person in the relationship does not match or exceed their partner's devoted efforts to make things work, it is not fair to stay in the relationship and be disappointed.  

I'm grateful for all of the examples of loving couples who have committed their lives to being wonderful partners and people.  Some of those loving couples have been in stable and satisfying relationships, and other loving couples have had one or more serious relationships with other people before meeting their current partners.  We all have different destinies in life, and it's not everyone's destiny to fall instantly in love with our high school sweethearts, get married, and have 3 children by the age of 22.  Some people have to go through trials and errors before finding The One.  

People who are in a relationship have little to no control over their partner's actions.  All that one person can do is try their best to create positive and loving opportunities for themselves with people who seem to be reciprocal.  Instead of judging people who have had difficulty building healthy relationships, it is important to consider that there are factors within every relationship that you can't see unless you are actually in the relationship. 

 

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